my favorite

So I met someone. You know how that goes. You get lost in them and then you lose yourself. This is nothing like that.

Well, she turned out to be exactly what I needed. I have been so happy that even my mind forgot how to put words together. (Chuckles) she knows what I mean. Sometimes I just find myself staring at her with all this words in my head and no way of expressing them.

Trust me, I have no problem telling her how I feel.

Things I said to her#1
There is someone I miss
If you see her
Tell her that
Her crazy man
Misses her so much

Things I said to her#2
PS: I LOVE YOU

Things I said to her#3
Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to think of someone and smile like they are right in front of you.

And a lot more…

She is (what’s the word) a little bit strange. And a lot more awesome. She’s smart, funny, and damn pretty.

She’s set up camp in my head and moved in. I can’t seem to stop thinking about her. I can barely stop talking to her. Sometimes I just smile because I can hear her say shut up when I say something cheesy (Chuckles).

She is like my favorite song and I can play her over and over and never get tired of hearing her.

She is like my favorite cup of coffee and I can sip her till the last drop and still want more.

She is… everything.

I better get back to daydreaming about her

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Not trusting the universe again

They told me that sometimes when things are out of your hands you don’t have a choice but to pray that the universe is on your side. I did, I prayed, I waited but after all that I saw you with him laughing at his jokes, grinning at him like the world revolves around him and I realized, I have lost the best part of my life and the universe just sat there watching it all come down crashing.

here it is

you wanna know what my problem is
you want to know
my problem is that I worry about things that haven’t happened yet
forget about the things that are happening or the things that have happened… oh wait I also worry about things that
no that was not the point
and I don’t think I’m the only one who has that problem
my point is I worry about things that are yet to happen
like the people I will meet
the ones I will disappoint
not what is happening
which if you consider it
I should be worrying about that or not worry at all
oh who am I kidding
I will still worry I just have to pick which one to worry about and it can’t be the past since I’m pretty sure that boat sailed along time ago
oh I know what the problem is… I have been opening up too much
maybe I shouldn’t be doing that
yeah that sounds like a swell idea
oh God did I just say swell?
what’s wrong with me?
I have no idea ok
stop asking me things I don’t know
oh you are right
that does make me sound like a crazy person
oh hey a butterfly

PS: that’s what it’s like to be in my head

PSS: I think I was high on sleep when I wrote this. I’m not sure but I remember sounding like a drunk person when I was reading it… it was almost one in the morning

the who

Sometimes I forget who I am
Other times, I have no idea who I am
I am that guy who is antisocial on some days and out going on others
And very much an introvert every other time
But on good days, I know exactly who I am…

the experiment

Her: Just be yourself

Me: I’m being myself

We look around and notice that everyone is looking at me strangely

Her: Let’s try your other personalities

I try that and…

Her: oh God, I think we found a winner, they love you…

Keeps that going for a few minute and starts getting uncomfortable

Me: I don’t like feeling out of place in my own skin, if you are not comfortable with who I am… that’s kind of your problem not mine

Goes back to being myself…people go back to looking at me strangely

And I pull on my headphones and crank up the volume to Kat Dahlia’s Voices in my head and get lost in my own world