My friend and I have this thing we do where we say that we are gonna die alone. And sometimes I think we are kidding. Other times I don’t know it feels true. We are a mess.
I’m listening to Wrabel – 11 Blocks. I just finished episode 14 of Lethal Weapon. Yeah, the second season. 11 Blocks is a really good song. I have work in the morning. It’s 23:23 now.
I just feel that…something is off. Nothing makes sense anymore. I can’t feel my heart. I know it’s there it just feels hollow. Very hollow actually. It has never felt this empty before.
I haven’t met anyone this week. My friend says I always have someone new I’m talking to. He can’t keep track of everything going on with me. That makes the two of us
“It’s doesn’t feel right when I’m grabbing a coffee. The same old spot but I’m on my own. I feel okay in the day but at nighttime. You know how I get when I’m alone.” told you, 11 Blocks is really good.
*I wrote this last night. I didn’t post it till today…* I need to feel my heart again. Not just the beating. More. I need to feel more. It’s 23:29 now and I think I will stop here.
23:35. I stepped outside to grab a smoke. Weird, that’s also a line from the song. Yes, I did stop there. I danced for a while and then smoked my first cigarette of the year.
It just felt right. I already had my first drink of the year. Here is a hint. It was a Friday night…a shot of tequila. I washed it down with a Red Bull. And later two shots of whiskey.